Saying it indirectly

By JOHN EVANS

There are less offensive ways of referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

A EUPHEMISM is a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh, blunt, offensive or hurtful.

Euphemisms are often used when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing. They can be entertaining because they reveal how people concoct words and expressions in order to avoid being literal, obvious or offensive.

Take the workplace, for instance. Most people are now aware that to “dispense with someone’s services”, “release someone” or “let someone go” are all euphemisms for summary dismissal.

Even when people “resign” from their job, one can never be quite sure whether it was of their own free will or whether they were “invited” to do so as the only alternative to being fired on the spot. And if they refuse to go quietly, they might just find themselves “escorted from the premises”, a euphemism for what might involve being virtually frogmarched out of the building by grim-faced security guards.

At least the neat euphemism “between jobs” for “unemployed” can sometimes help people save face at job interviews when they are asked about their “current position”. Be that as it may, a no-nonsense interviewer might shoot back, “Oh, so how long have you been jobless then?”

If you are talking on the phone to a superior who suddenly cuts you off with the words, “I’ll have to let you go”, what they really mean is that they are no longer interested in listening to what you have to say (if they ever were), and feel it is high time to end the conversation.

Again, if someone says to you, “I hear you”, it probably means that they totally disagree with you.

These days, an increasingly large number of euphemisms consist of politically correct words and phrases and other innocuous expressions that people use to avoid provoking negative reactions from their listeners. In this respect, euphemisms could well be described as deceitful.

If a company cuts its workforce, it is called “downsizing”, though such a euphemism offers cold comfort to those who lose their jobs in the process.

People with physical disabilities are now referred to as “challenged”, “impaired” or “deprived” in some respect or other. A dwarf would be called “vertically challenged” and a blind person “sight-deprived”.

Someone who pays scant attention to personal hygiene is no longer referred to as “smelly” or even as “suffering from B.O.”, but rather as “hygienically-challenged”.

The British satirical magazine Private Eye coined the euphemism “tired and emotional” to describe people (usually politicians and other public figures) who were more likely than not plain drunk.

“Bending the rules” sounds harmless enough but is often a euphemism for cheating or some other illegal practice. And if someone confesses to being “economical with the truth”, it means that they were lying. This marvellous euphemism earned its place in books of quotations after it was uttered by Sir Robert Armstrong, former Head of the British Civil Service, when referring to a letter during the “Spycatcher” trial at the Supreme Court, New South Wales, in 1986.

Most euphemisms only have a certain lifespan before they cease to sound euphemistic. Although the word “remains” is still effective as a euphemism for the bleak word “corpse”, does the (American English) word “casket” really sound any more appealing than the word “coffin”? And how many people are still ignorant as to the specific meaning of the term “adult entertainment”?

Again, everyone knows that to go to the “washroom” to “freshen up” will probably involve some other function than simply “freshening up”.

The classic example of a euphemism is the expression “to pass away” used to avoid the unpleasant connotations of the word “die”. Other euphemisms for dying are “pass on”, “pass over”, “depart (this life)”, “go the way of all flesh”, “go to a better place/world”, “go/be taken home”, “gone to meet one’s Maker”, “go to one’s (last/just) reward” and the whimsical “be gathered to one’s fathers”.

But long before the appearance of the Grim Reaper, there is an array of euphemisms available simply to avoid the word “old” or even “ageing”. Take your pick from the following: “advanced in years”, “senior citizen”, “elderly”, “distinguished”, “one’s sunset/golden years”, “evening of life”, “the longer-lived”, “veteran”, “no longer young”, “not a kid any more”, “not as young as one used to be”, and “no spring chicken”.

As someone who is no longer in the flower of his youth, I think I’ll just go for “distinguished” and ditch the rest!

~~~English Rulez~~~